Right now, i am thinking of closing this blog and begin a new one to sorta right welcome myself into marriage life. Sumhow, it sounds like a poseur right now and i think i should sleep over this idea first.

I woke up feeling a bit depressed of myself. So i decide to take up the challenge my husband had been sincerely implying thru the corner of his eyes.

I wonder a lot last night if he is REALLY happy to be with me. Sumhow, i have this nagging feeling dat he isnt happy with me. We quarrelled over my careless-ness of leaving some of my toiletries at the hotel. I called him when i was freaking out and really angry at myself for being Sooooo Verrrrrry Stuuuupid. Of cos in my anger and self-blaming, i did get pissed with him for not being a better me. He got even more pissed that he said it is my responsibility and hurt me even more. Suddenly, it just hit me where is my man who used to be so consoling and will cool me down wheneva i get a bit neurotic? I just teared and put down the phone cos i dont even want to make things worst. Its my fault but it will really help a bit if he just say," its just a thing and we sumtimes forget, dear." To make things even better for him, he smsed me to highlight how inconsiderate and insensitive of me. I should take really good care of my mouth and all those things, a man has against an angry wife. I am just gonna swallow it and wait to reflect on myself. Reflect if i was supportive and consoling to him when he accidentally made a mistake or forget something. If i dont, then i shud work on that so that hopefully, he sees how he had mistreated me unintentionally.

I decide not to call him since i must take care of my mouth. If i am going out to get my toiletries, i will just sms him. If he call, i will just be cool and calm but MOST IMPORTANTLY, speak very very less.