Parklife

I am afterall dont look like her.Read her blog and then, i thot wat if she read my blog by chance. Howeva i hope not cos i dont wanna ppl to b confuse n be so affected by wat i wrote. Cos basically i blabbered opinions n opinions can always be wrong. I dont knoe wat kinda mood i am really in. Be it sad, lonely or contented, its all mixed. Watched 7th heaven with dad. Believe it or not, dad was the one who watched it first before i woke up n joined him. He love family show and those real life situation things. Now he is digging into the vcd drawer to again play Kabhi Kuche Kabhi Gham (Did i spell it right?). Nah, he is playing Dil To Pagal Hai. My dad is as couch potatoe as me when i dont haf the wonderful internet in front of me. He is a wonderful dad tho has his flaws. He love mum just as much as staying in the marriage, providing for mum, helping her w lil housework and rationalise w her. Those things made mum love him even more altho she at times cant stand dad's egoism n temper at times.Typical man thing. It got me thinking about Dj last night. I just lay on bed thinking of how he totally ignored me. I dont knoe if its busy or he just dont wanna haf anything to do w me. Had to wipe my tears cos dad as usual check on his kids while they sleep. Probably Dj is back w his ex or found a girl. The other day, BMX brother told me dat Dj probably scolded him 'bastard'. He didnt knoe for wat reason and was wondering was it bcos he went to see me in KL. I told him i had not been talking to Dj n i assured him dat probably Dj didnt mean it to him. Howeva, BMX bro was kinda upset cos he told me Dj neva did dat. Probably Dj stressed. i am just looking forward to see him from a far this cuming friday, saturday n sunday. I wanna see as much as him so dat i can remember his face til i am lucky again to see him.

Hippo had been talking to me. He told me he called my hp and let me listened to Avril Lavigne's voice in the concert at Denmark. The thot was nice. I appreciated that minusing all the things that hurt me once.

Last night talked to Jep n he acompanied me thru my journey of dreaming to go to London. Jep sounded like he gave up on relationship but i always make him see the positivity n dont give up. He told me probably he gonna marry me maybe. The thot neva come across my mind and i asked him why would he want to marry me and he didnt know why. Told him dats void then. I told him dat the other time when we kissed once just cos i wonder how it feels like to kiss sumone w pierced tongue, i felt incest. He was shocked and asked why. Told him dat i adore him actually like a brother. All the time talking to him n at times bitching abt his bitter relationship and talking bout old times, i actually felt it more like a sister brother thingy. I also came up w a freaky theory of how weird it is if we got together and he just laffed. Anyway, Jep on his way to Desaru w his frens.

I think i am like the weirdest gal. Probably i am not cos i am sure there are others who think like me. Like i do haf lotsa guy frens dat i grew close emotionally with and actually sayang. Like Wak Jeng, who always advise me and at times accompany me to find stuff cos he is really gd at gadgets. Then there was Saiful, who was my partner in crime during IE days. Then there is Moksin who shared with me Guy's secret and his problems dealing w ppl who wanna break up his relationship w his young girlfren. There is also BMX bro who tells me stories abt his family n how pretty his wife is as well as introducing me to underground bands. Jep of cos, my bitching fren and a place for caffeine. Asmadi, my another bitching fren who loves to sing for me. My dear abg Mus who sayang me a lot like a sister, feed me a lot during Raya n also repairs my laptop. Howeva they are just dat and nothing more. Dj was just my ice-cream partner and a rash dat i grew to love immediately after the first kiss. I didnt knoe dat i did adore him after all til i kissed him n all about hippo just withered like dried leaves in autumn. When i hold his hands or even hugged him, I just dont wanna let go cos its as comfortable as like being hugged by my late grandpa. I shudnt b thinking abt him cos everytime i do, my tears will roll down. Just like how it used to b when i let go of Thaifur. Howeva Thaifur, it was stronger cos i will neva want him to go against his parents tho he actually lied. Frankly, to a certain extend i am glad i am not w him. Probably, in time i will realized why Dj is not good for me and its not my fault if he dont treasure even the simple companionship altho i already did my part in apologizing. I shudnt b sad or affected.

Since i got nothing to do, i am gonna accompany Lin to the veterinarian. I miss animal and defintely gonna lit up my face and made me forget him for a while when i am around animals. Maybe i shud go to the zoo.

(Sorry just too lazy to edit my grammatical errors. I killed English. )