Opportunity & Risk

Dream is the manifestation of ur hope n desire. Yassier was the one who said dat years ago at S11. I wonder how is he now as well as Leena. Is Leena out? A lot of ppl i left and sum who left me. The one i left probably cos i dont like to b put in situation of being uncomfortable w the sour ones and all happy w the sweet smiley ones. I get suffocated in situations like dat and i cant lie, i am so sensitive to my surrounding....so responsive just like chemicals.Howeva i realised it changed recently, probably cos i realise how much i value all relationship and how i shud separate them. I didnt realise the change until i asked myself this yesterday...will i stop talking to certain nice ppl dat i can call frens just cos my sensitivity of not wanting to b put in certain situations? I realized i haf not been doing dat since i bumped into this circle of ppl who value frenship and are willing not to mix certain things or even take sides. This is wat i want rite in frenship and first test was hippo where i luv them all for still befriending hippo n me. They knoe, they understand but best thing of all they dont stop being frens. I learnt from them perhaps...i learnt to treasure ppl cos i see them treasuring me too.

Well kinda deviate there a bit but actually wat i wanna say is dat i woke up, call Fat and straightly change subjects to minor in Seni instead of Sastera. I will still do my masters in Sastera but this time when i am given the opportunity to learn Seni, why not take it altho i knoe damn well i can excell really good in Sastera. The question was excellent or knowledge and i chose knowledge all the while even this time. I believe i can do well in Seni too, Shark believe in me too. So i am taking the opportunity to learn more abt my Malay culture by taking Seni Kaligrafi, Seni Tekstil dan Praktikum Seni with risking my grades. I am preparing myself w not so excellent grades but i am willing to work hard to widen my horizon on ilmu. Only Sgians who is a teacher minoring Seni. I knoe i made the right choice.

Shark will b going for her check up today. Actually, i feel like taking the train back to KL at night so dat i can go for my 11 am class esok. Oh no, i cant cos i haf appt tonight. Nvm, anyway its add drop period so lotsa changes and no more ponteng after this. Fat wants me to buy magiclean paper..must remember dat. Wonder if money is in oredi? I am dying for cash.

I am glad i feel better today...i no longer miss probably it's due to anger. I think of him and our fun outings but i stopped missing n feeling for it. Hippo, frankly he is always playing games like yesterday he told me abt having a gf in sg n another in europe and how wonderful they are for accepting him two-timing...sign of liberalism perhaps. I knoe his telling me w the intention tosindir me on how psycho i was w him and how i wasnt like his present gfs. I just replied good for him lah and told him i am happy for him. I do actually, just dat i rather not be dat opportunist or stain the name of relationship or even love w sex or emotional support. Sum ppl wanna b smart by being all different and hippo is one of them perhaps.

Yeah! Really appreciate rocker a lot for his whole talk w me on Rock gang n influence. I neva thot i can talk to rocker cos i think we are so diff in paths n thots but it was definitely my gain to get to see his path n thots. Street smart fella but i still dislike his ego.