Twisted life

Was at MAD yesterday and Flo is really cute n sweet. She is pretty in my eyes. My dearest lil sis. The performance was shatteringly loud n roaring but crowd tak eh. I was biting my straw n figuring out words in the roars w eyes wide open n puzzled. It was a sight k n if Shark with me, she would do the same thing. Went swimming w Shila ( the lad bursting w wonderful personality ) and yeah, silly me whereby i almost drowned in the pool as i was choked on my sweet. Wat was i thinking, holding breath n suckling sweet....crazy bitch! Coming to think abt it, it may be nice to b drowned. Then Shila n I went to the jacuzzi where she got grossed w armpit hairs even on guys. Sheesh! I suddenly realized i had been out w unhygienic guys since they haf forests under their arms. Then we got ourself ready by holding towels as we changed b4 heading to the sports hall nextdoor.

Cutelah this baldie. I was kinda happy n scared to see him. For sum weird reasonslah k. Angelic face w drummer hubbie were there too. Wanna talk to her but like segan padahal we were fr same course b4. The steam man was there too and surprisingly Dj dat made me froze as he walked his bike into the hall. I didnt want to talk much cos i was too frozed and getting the vibes like i shudnt b there since he dont want me to. I always feel dat my presence were unwanted.But oklah, nothing stopped me fr having fun w BMX bro and the other funny guys especially baldie. Torie was there..i so miss him but didnt get to talk to him. I dont think he knoes i was there. Tsk this rocker fren wants me to help him w his karangan but hilang after i had to attend a phone call. Sum ppl.

Yeah...how hurt can anyone b or mad and start calling asshole or bastard when u were actually said a rebound and also needed only for company. If its stranger, i can understand for being an opportunist but my fren for 2 yrs..wat company does a fren need and for 2 yrs of keeping feelings and later reveal it, i am a rebound. I haf every right to b angry. Yah, i made mistake like calling the hse and calling names and even making him shout right from the start. But i am no stone too and i dont think dat person dat i hold dearly in frenship too. Its fated i stumbled n got shit even fr guy frens. First guy fren who hurt me so much just cos he wasnt ready at all to b in relationship. I did scrubbed myself just now til my leg n certain part bleed at the grossness of cleansing myself fr his touch. I am mad at him and i hope one day, i can forgive him. Luv to treasure him but rather do it only if i am treasured. I shall make this a lesson to b learn.

God pls stop making my life difficult and the last thing u did, really hurt me so much. I hope i dont lose frens and i hope he will realize dat wadeva he said to me was regretful. My dear fren Dj, my ben n jerry's partner. I love u much just as much but not to be blind like i was w hippo. U opened my eyes just enuff for yesterday phonecall shows u so much.



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