I wonder how do people stay in this line? Every day is draining me. Physically, emotionally and mentally. To think that i spent years of studying and struggling for a better life but i am like being pushed into a black hole. Maybe, i forgot that with greater power comes greater responsibilities but i truly rather be Spiderman. I realized greater knowledge is accompanied by greater responsibilities. If i knew it long time ago...wait or perhaps i lead the life that i wanted before, a care free and irresponsible life. Frankly, i look more like a drug addict now.

Today, six periods of teaching with a growling stomach. I was so hunry that i gobbled my chicken rice as i hurried to meet up w an ex-student. I still feel hungry, i still feel sleepy and i still feel haggard and tired tho i had my meals and also had my nap. This is the taste of motherhood i guess. Instead on a few, i have like about 60-80 kids. Different backgrounds, different personalities but with one intention...to get all the attention and love. I chose a very demanding job despite i have lotsa wants in designing my life. Shud i say that this is fated?

Why the negativity and melancholy? Who would u believe...ur student or their parents? When i choose to trust? Am i being gullible? Why students are full of angst and violence? Why there are so many problems and the best thing, its not even made by me but i have to admit that i let myself be affected by it. How do we all draw the line in teaching? It helps a lot too that i am a woman.

Exams paper due on Monday. I try to finish half of it by tomorrow since i decide to go up KL on Good Friday. Is it possible? Now i am torn between a promise to a fren and my ever demanding job.