I will be signing out at 9pm today. Let me log into RadioBlog to hype positivity. The music of my youth just the right botox i need for the spirit. I had been listening back and back again to MSP. I miss them a lot or actually i miss being young and restless again. It do feel like only yesterday i was walking around in loose jeans and black tee while listening to my cd on my discman. If only i was a cam-whore, it could be seen how time and enforced maturity evolves me into who i am now. Unfortunately that time, camera was a luxury and to wash the photos even more expensive. Discman...i rather quench my ears than my eyes and memories. Being a typical audio teen.

The desk a mess. Glad that i finished marking 2 sets of karangan. Workbook still incomplete. NE job seems to be interesting so i wonder if its possible to do bit by bit tomorrow and get it ready by Monday. Its a double up w the new bride too. She maybe young but she is definitely more of a bee than me. Its like the more educated one is, the more lazy one become...that theory only applies to me.

Cramps and headache, i wish i can just faint. Longest day and it haaaaad to be my second day.

Yesterday, i blew up in class. I was screaming and hysterically threatening some of my poseur kids that i was worst than all of them and do not turn me into a monster. Everyone froze but of course, the most intended just not bothered tho she was quiet and looked down. Sumhow i think if screwing up going to make her a better and humble person, by all means...i leave it to God. Then at night, Shella came over to my house asking me to hang out with her. Of course it was shocking and i was a bit reluctant but i didnt talk much. I just changed to denim and headed nearby for a chill. Such a sweetheart but i SWEAR that i do feel awkward despite we talked well. Oh...Hazeeq also striked an interesting conversation on MSN trying to convice me the need to cover up. Sweetness...he said he cared abot me so much that he wont want anything bad to happen to me.

When things like yesterday happened, begin to doubt their love for me. Is it because i had been nice to them and that's why they wanna be closer? Wat if i am hard on them...frankly, i just dont understand myself around affection. I sumtimes do crave for it but when its at the doorstep, i doubt its sincerity.

Just like how in the blog, i password encoded it when i realized people do at times read my blog. Before that, i just removed the password because i am comfortable with people not reading tho i do miss tags and comments. Neither here...neither there, is it called confused or is it called just wanting the attention. LOSER probably.