I misplaced my camera again. It was on the table and sumhow, i couldnt remember where it is now. It was only yesterday that i think i saw it lying on the living room table. Serves me right to be frustrated now since i have not really been good at taking care of my own things.

It seemed hard to feel weekends these past few weeks. My knees are aching and sitting for too long makes them worst. My spirit doesnt help much during the cycle this time. Appetite too...sumhow, i feel like i am having a menstrual depression. We had breakfast yesterday in the hope to make the moment less miserable. We just lean against each other and holding hands at the table while waiting for food. I luv his company though it doesnt made me fully bouncing with joy but i feel safe around him. He is my blanket. Later in the evening, after his needed sleep and my tutoring responsibilities, we accompanied his brother to do his investment. Sheesh...2 hours of sitting on an empty stomach really made me sooo restless and pissy. Luckily, i had fried Bee Hoon at Syahindah's hse while tutoring her. I thought i was really hungry but in the end, i just gobbled 3 chicken wings and munch fries. That shouldnt be filling but sumhow, it was enough for me. He then put me to sleep and left my place at midnight. Thats how much my husband loves me and i do think that no guys will ever ever do that to me. I thought love was just love but he taught me love is more than just love. A man is really A man when he trully love the person he is with...trully love doesnt only mean words unttered but through actions and the natural sense of security that at least my husband made me feel.

I love him soooo much that i woke up frantically when i realized he didnt call me after reaching home. I dialed his number a few times. Each time becoming more and more paranoid. What cooled me down was when his mum answered the phone in a morning testy voice saying that Shaiful was in the loo. He called me immediately after that and reassured me that he is fine. I could not imagine losing him instantly but when sanity sank slowly, i realized that i will be so wrong. When one love someone so dearly that one unintentionally refuse to lose the lover to The Almighty.

Its been really emo in this side of my world. He is working today and i hope my laundry and workload going to make me less aimlessly emotionally depressive. I cant wait for May to come...reception that finally will make me wake up beside him everyday til i get sick and tired but love him back again much more that yesterday, a honeymoon, a humble beautiful shop house at Toa Payoh Central (if we are lucky) and babies that i hope to conceive on our honeymoon.