P

I really feel like i am snailing.
Sem 1 almost ending and not an assg hand in.
Wats wrong w me. Why do i get influenced easily and not motivated easily?
Wats wrong w my own self of discipline and why do i let env controls me?
By hook or by crook, i must finish up my Tunku Kudin n Nilai Norma by tomorrow.
Or else, i dont dream of coming back to sg ASAP.
I am beginning to hate myself and everything around me.


Do u sense dat we are apart or drifting, maybe?
I dont knoe but i have begin not to feel truly n comfortably like before.
Maybe the recent incident still hurt us.
I suddenly feel suffocated thinking of how i can never live up to ppl's expectations.
Maybe dats when friendship n relationship fall apart when its suddenly brought to my attention to have my action in an equlibrium state as another's expectation. Frankly, i dont even live up to my expectation n how possible can it be for me living up to other's expectations. Wadeva will be, will be cos the future not us to see...Que Sera Sera.

Naz's chicken rice wasnt bad after all. It could have been better if not ramadhan n when i am not in my 'unwell' state. Could have been better meaning i could eat more of it. Sahur, i woke up to eat her jemput-jemput. Reminded me of mum and how i also have drifted fr my family. I miss them, suddenly. We hardly eat tog now since i am soooo in love w HIM. I just have to deal w this sooner or later cos wat if one day, i am gonna get married. I cant resist change so stop whining n deal w it. I miss mum's mee siam, i miss the time we all buka tog n sahur tog. I miss mum feeding me when my eyes were still shut refusing to wake up. But pls, i dont miss mum's n dad's nagging us to solat. Nagging parents made me hate praying.

Its Semiotik class in 5 mins time. Even semiotik not done yet tho dah buat latar belakang kajian. Syukur ajalah n quit whining.

Assalamualaikum.
I miss u Shaifulbahri n awaklah tempat kita bermanja.
Kalau nak scandal pun, make it obvious k n jgn dalam gelap.