I luv my outfit cos i finally have the kain batik with ombal beralun. Not the jahit one but just a kain batik dats being folded and turned by mum to give a nice wave look. Its no big deal but i luv it and proud wearing a traditional malay kain batik.

Went solat Lebaran at Stadium. It occured to me if its ok for mum to go solat raya w lil clingy kids dat cried and cried as the mum pray? Eventually, she had to stop praying and crosses others tempat sujud to get their kids. I dont think God will thunder mums who have to sacrifice solat lebaran just to attend to their kids. Kinda distruptive to others' prayers. Sigh, i shud remember dat when i have my kids.

Btw, the sis didnt bring sockslah to solat. I reluctantly gave my socks to her and prayed sitting down. Still dont get the lil sacrifices i made for her. She conquered the whole make-up pl ah bila we have to get ready. My sis...sumtimes eldest cannot give face a bitlah.

Went to nenek's hse. Saw my beautiful cousin Maya n her hubby. I knoe i shudnt feel like this but i couldnt help it. Everytime i see her face, she made me cringed at the nightmare i used to have w her close working colleague. Air dicincang takkan putus. Dats the saying suitable for us. It hurts me a lot when she sided her colleagues instead of me during the emotional turmoil. I am sure she agreed with them that i was crazy (i was a bit crazylah) but as my cousin, dont she think dat she shud side me a bit and not always blame me. She walked up to me and said, "I am proud of u. Congrats on ur wedding." Sincerely maybe but i am just too hurt to sense the sincerity. Like i dont need that from u now since u turned away from me the last time when i needed u the most. There's nothing to be proud of but i am gladlah that Allah showed me the right path after i sesatkan my diri. I am not doing this to make anyone proud of me. I think she should be saying that to her best trophy colleagues like dat fuzzy bitch and dat rainy butch poseur. Sorry Maya, i dont hate u but i seem not able to erase the past. God...pls help me in this.