2 weeks b4 the day.
Despite being at a very early stage, i am hyperventilating.
Gets kinda emotionally weak and all i want is to just cry for no strong reason.
Of cos, in my own privacy. I am worried dat wat i want may not be possible w others' interference. It broke my heart terribly when i cant appreciate the gift dat i am suppose to wear. Its ugly and to be clear, its being replaced with an 80s gold. However, she meant very well and i have to accept it bitterly. Talking about it made me sick to the stomach and i really dont feel like going to my cousin's wedding. She is definitely so lucky to have a wedding dat she wants. No meddling fr parents since her partner is an orphan and she, a successful lady altho she came from broken family. Shaiful is the strength of positivity in this moment. He told me dat we shud always seek parents' blessing and he dont mind burning a hole in his pocket or not having wat he wants for his wedding for as long as i am there sitting on the pelamin, signing the certificate of marriage tog w him. So i have to see the bigger picture, tho maybe u will see my sad face w a huge wedding ceremony and an ugly gordy wedding ring, that i am marrying the man that i love and most importantly will always be there for me when 'shit' arrives.

Sorry...i am just too upset to update about school tho i enjoy every class.
I want to breathe the air of positivity.